Thursday, November 15, 2012

New rules for commenting on this blog

I've tried really hard to create a safe space where people can feel comfortable to ask questions and share their thoughts, but that was put in jeopardy recently. Because I want everyone to feel welcome, I have decided to institute a few rules that I will ask you to follow when commenting.

1. Completely anonymous comments will be vetted for content. If you don't have a google account, that's okay. Just put your name at the end of the comment and all will be fine! (I'm thinking about commenters like Rosi: I want your input. Just sign off with your name as you've been doing and we're good!) I find that when we are completely anonymous, our dark side starts to come out and this isn't a place for those mean thoughts...

2. It's okay to not like things...If you disagree with me, share your thoughts, and be civil about it. We can have a lively debate and even agree to disagree without sharing a single mean word! What should you do if you think I'm wrong? Click here for a post on the topic. I'm always up for a lively debate!

3. If what you're about to say to me or another person would hurt your feelings, don't write it. I'm astonished at how many people thought it was okay for someone to call me a "baby" or that my blog was filled with "misguided ramblings". These things aren't okay. You're an adult, and I expect you to behave like one. No name calling, no besmirching of reputations, no shouting someone down. If you would be ashamed to hear your child had called another child what you called me, or if it would hurt your feelings to see that in a public place, don't write it. These comments will be taken down. It's not censorship - it's a kindness.

As an aside to this, it is not okay to question my mental health when I say I'm upset by something. Commenting that I might not be getting enough Vitamin D as I seem a bit moody or asking if I'm going through things in my personal life really isn't acceptable. 

I admit I'm a little shocked by what passes for adult discourse these days. If you don't like something I've said, ask yourself if it's worth your time to comment? If you don't like my philosophy, it is okay to leave the blog without having to give me a piece of your mind. There are hundreds - nay thousands - of blogs out there about cosmetic chemistry. Why not find one you love and spend time there instead of visiting those that make you angry? I accept that I am not everyone's cup of tea! (Click here for more on what I call my Trifecta of Argh!)

As a final thought - p pointed out that flame wars are acceptable on other blogs and forums - they aren't here. Share your thoughts and play nice.

And thank you so much to those of you who commented and emailed me. Your messages mean a lot to me and you reminded me why I write the blog and why I get such joy out of it. I'm working on new posts now and should have them up by the weekend! I really can't thank you enough!  


catherine said...

Well said!

yinn said...

Hi, I've enjoyed your blog for a couple years, have it in my feed (which means I don't see comments) and am surprised you've made it this long without a comment policy.

As I see it, when someone comes to your blog they should treat you the same way as if they've been invited into your home. You set the standards for behavior and it's up to you to enforce them.

Nuke as you see fit, so we all can continue enjoying this space -- including you!

Littlebird said...

You shouldn't have had to say this. And I'm sorry it came to this point but I agree 100%.

Michele Clarke said...

Welcome back.

Side note why does baking soda relieve itchy skin? What could be lacking for my skin inside or out?

Will reply with my last potion recipe....pretty basic.

Soap is distilled water and Dr bronners baby formula.

Susan Barclay-Nichols said...

As a quick aside...Yinn makes a really good point. This blog feels like my house. I want you to come in, sit down, take off your shoes, and have a good time. But I also ask you respect the rules of my house. Be nice to my dog, don't pour your beverages on the floor, don't pass your cold on to me, and so on. I think the rules are fairly simple - be nice - and they're in place to create a space where everyone feels safe and welcome, and I can't have a few people ruining it for everyone.

Thank you so much for your support!

Nancy Liedel said...

I've been busy getting the house ready for the move, new one and creating the formulary of my mini dreams. The actual formulary of my dreams involves a sun porch and a yoga center with a masseuse available at all times, along with an unending supply of awesome inci's and people to talk to about them. I digress. I've been in the background reading all of this and you just followed the best advice I could give you. Sometimes, you have to be you. Accept you do what you do and if someone does not like it, not allow them a forum to comment. I pay for my little internet world. I get to say who comes in.

Free speech in the US is for public places, not private spaces and if someone is insulting you get to say, "no." I know several people here who are more natural formulators and wonderful com-mentors on this blog. Lise-Lise, take a bow.

I think the world of your well-researched and insightful information. Agreement 100% is boring, but someone stirring the pot for the sake of stirring in your internet home should not be allowed and I back you 100%

Want a break? Come to lovely Michigan and help me move. Kidding :) I think you're great. You give me food for thought and places to start. You are generous to a fault.

I wish we had someone like you and your hubs around so that we could send our kids to you for a creative outlet. From me, it's boring. You, exciting.